I realise I’ve been neglecting this humble blog of mine. I can only apologise to you literally none of my readers, as I’ve been busy with StartGame (which is going well: we’ve got a new recruit and the site is looking pretty swish).
Between that and work, and real life, I’m not writing a lot for here, but I’m going to make more of an effort from now on.
In the spirit of change, I’ll be changing the name of this thing right here, to Gaming With Stuart Brodie (that’s my real name. Rock ‘n’ roll eh?) in an effort to present myself more, rather than peespee63 (which is me, by the way, but I just have to stick with him for the present, until i can phase in a new username)
But yeah, keep checking out StarGame regularly and pop back here every oh, I dunno, once a month or something. Ta.
I have some very, very, veryveryvery good and exciting news for you coming up here.
As a writer, it’s always good to know your work is appreciated, or at least that it’s featured, so I’m delighted to tell you about StartGame.org a new gaming website, run by my good friend LiquescentShadow.
We are a four-man team of young(ish) writers bringing the masses industry articles, reviews and coverage of the big conventions like E3 and the likes.
It’s LS, myself, Hodgi92 and mynameisblair, all of whom, are also members of TheSixthAxis, two are staffers, and me and LS occasional guests.
We launch sometime this week, still got a bit of testing to do at the moment, (or so LS says, I think he’s just plain lazy though :D) so don’t expect miracles right away, (though some stellar writing is in the works, watch this space) and we hope you like our writing stylings and register with us.
Oh yeah, the link’s at the top.
peespee63
Whoooo, almost nearly went to start playing Solitaire there. Or does that count? I said no video games, but is a computerised represetation of a real-life card game considered a video/computer game?
Better play it safe, I don’t want to make myself a liar.
The following is taken from a thread in TheSixthAxis’s forums, created by myself. It’s basically collaborative storytelling by many members, some of whom edited it slightly, most of the editing done by myself on here, so that it flows a bit better. (the contributers are, in no particular order: myself, mynameisblair, Zuler, tobo_56, Boomshanks, iNsAnE_gAmInG, theshockwave, Manorhowze, GTOWN, SirGregThorn, and ShovellyJoe, thanks guys)
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One day, as I was walking down the street, I saw Kratos walking the other way.
(I was thinking this, while humming along to Ain’t No Rest For the Wicked) “He said “I never seen a man who looked all innocent and could use a bit of revenge. He then looked at me and this is what he said:”
“Zeus will pay!”
Then there was a rumbling from the sky and a lightning bolt flew over my head. The woman walking behind me was struck in the face and fell dead to the floor.
And I was like: “Woah! Sweet! Where’d you learn to do that?”.
However, whilst I was admiring Kratos, who had killed the woman, Batman threw a batarang that was coming straight at my face! I dodged the metal bat before quickly returning a hail fire of knives and forks. Which went in no clear direction as I was a terrible shot.
Clearly I needed a new approach so I looked around for something I could use to take out the Bat.
Thats when I realised…
That the flaming sword of Atheron’s Wrath was being held by the statue over in the plaza, and I could get to it before Batman or Kratos could.
Grabbing the throbbing shaft I felt it’s power and admired it’s purple ended wonder. As the white, hot lava oozed from the tip I knew that this was no ordinary blade…. this was and S&M blade.
I yanked the sword from the statue’s gray hand and felt it’s immense power in my palm.
Something dribbled out of my cock in fright.
I was worried; my cock had never dribbled before, I figured I would take it to the vet’s after the ensuing scuffle, maybe something was wrong with it’s beak… it normally just squawks. Perhaps if I hadn’t spent the night before choking it things would be different.
But alas, the time had come to stop worrying about my cock, and start worrying once again about the epic fight I was facing: It was 106 miles to Chicago, I had a full tank of gas, half a packet of cigarettes, it was dark and I was wearing sunglasses. I was level 1 with zero mana and armour I couldn’t use.
But I had to consider the positives… I was determined! I thought about the jouney ahead, but before I could truly ready myself, a small knitted fella jumped on my head; “Hello, I am Sackboy”. This seemed odd to me as Sackboys usually don’t talk.
Though determined as I was I knew I needed a partner. I blasted Sackboy away from my lap and started searching for a worthy partner.
When all of a sudden, Sackboy changed his costume to look like Jack Sparrow. And I didn’t even have the DLC for that! I got jealous, but not for long, as I witnessed one of the Blades of Chaos rip through his sacky skin, leaving his blood-stained fluff floating about.
However, just when I thought Sackboy was dead, his attire was suddenly changed to a zombie; his fluff returned and his body was stitched together again, he gave me a look horror and anger, I stood… and shat myself.
I turned bright red and turned around to see the steaming 20ft pile on the floor. I couldn’t honestly remember eating that much since my last bowel movement, and when the hell did I have sweetcorn? I don’t even like sweetcorn. It’s the last thing you’d expect to see in one of my epic mounds.
Realising that the contents of my anal gravy were the least of my worries, I quickly set fire to sackboy and threw his flaming zombie corpse at Batman.
The Joker appeared out of nowhere and claimed he had finally beaten ‘Bats’ as the Dark Knight lay, burnt to a crisp, before Mr Freeze announced he now was in love with Batman, therefore had no choice but to use ice blast to cool the dark knight down and bring him back to life.
Just then, I heard the victory fanfare from Final Fantasy play, and realised my phone had gone off. I answered it and the person on the other end was screaming “Turn on your TV, there’s some weird shit going on near the old statue in town. I think that’s Kratos and Batman fighting some dude.”
I looked up into the sky, and saw the roving helicopter with the large camera. I waved at it, and Jimmy on the other end said: “Oh, hey dude, it’s you. DUDE, you’re on TV!”
“I know, Jimmy. Quick, how do you beat Kratos, Batman, Sackboy, The Joker and Mr. Freeze? Without using a cheat code!”
“Umm, you go up, up, down, down, left, right, left, right, b, a , start”
“Thanks man.”
I quickly entered the command, and Pac-Man appeared out of the arse-end of nowhere, and headed straight for my antagonists.
Wait a minute! That was the Konami Code, why did Pac-Man appear?
Meh.
All 5 of my opponents quickly fled, as Paccy had eaten a big pill and had that look in his non-existant eyes that said “Bring it, bitchas!”
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The story has kind of fizzled out in the forums, so it looks like this is it for now, but if any more activity occurs, I’ll be sure to post it here.
Okay, so it’s been a couple of weeks I’ve not been gaming, and you know what? I feel a little better.
I can devote more time to other pursuits, which is pretty damn good for me, as I can play my guitar a bit more.
Obviously, I’ve had some cravings, it’s not been all too easy, but I have thus far managed to avoid playing anything. I’ve thought about playing stuff, I’ve even bought some new games, and I’m planning on buying some more DLC (like the AC2 Battle of Forli expansion, and maybe Borderlands Mad Moxxi pack).
I’ve went and preordered the Final Fantasy XIII Collector’s Edition, I probably shouln’t have, but, meh.
You probably haven’t noticed, but I’ve been writing a few articles, some of them finished, others just bright ideas that kinda fizzled out, but I’ll get them done, for your reading pleasure. I may also get them published on TSA (if Gamoc likes them enough to post them up), which will delay things a bit, so look forward to the next few months.
It had to happen eventually. The PS3 has been hacked. It’s only taken 3 years, but it is quite a feat for Geohot (the hacker who has succeeded in cracking the uncrackable).
While I don’t condone what he’s done, I do applaud him and his 5-week intense procedure, it’s hardcore progarmmers like him who help keep the world running on computers, and no doubt, he’ll be snapped up by Sony to help them develop or stop further hacking.
As for him being prosecuted: yes, he did wrong, but I believe it was more out of curiosity and as a personal project, rather than malicious and illcontent. As far as I can gather, it’s a let’s see if it’s possible quest, rather than a let’s get some free games jaunt.
That is, of course, if Geohot is telling the truth.
The only question to be asked now is, will it be worth it to hack a PS3? Will piracy prevail over the arduous process to be able to possibly get knock-off games? Or will business carry on as usual, with this achievement being consigned just to the history books.
I found out a bout this here, and Geohot’s blog is here.
Seriously, what do you think of when you hear “game” being mentioned?
Do you think of a rousing game of Scrabble or Monopoly with the family? Do you imagine shooting players in a virtual world? Do you get a soft spot for waggle-stick, er, waggling family-friendly fun in the living room, with Mum joining in, even though she thinks she “can’t do it”?
When I think “game”, I automatically think of: my controller in hand, attatched to a piece of gaming hardware, playing something epic and immersing myself in the universe presented to me.
I love a quick blast of something retro inspired now and again, just as much as I love getting lost in the fantasy and story of an RPG, or the sprawl of a huge city, the open playground for my every whim, or even the gritty, bullet and corpse-riddled battlefields of an epic wartime shooter.
Gaming itself is so massive, that we as individuals can only really scratch the surface, but when we come together and talk, we discover more about ourselves, our own tastes, likes and dislikes, and those of other, like minded people (or not, as the case may be).
The media, in particular papers and news programmes and investigative pieces such as those found in Dispatches or Tonight, often tars us all with the same brush: that we’re all scummy shut-ins, violent and with addictive personalities and a distorted sense of reality. The truly sensationalist nature of the knee-jerk media paints games as being bad and evil, corrupting young minds and filling your head with nasty thoughts.
In reality, this is not the case: ask any sane person, and they’re likely to tell you it’s just another distraction from the mundanity of everyday life.
But, it’s becoming more and more popular, and more a part of everyday life than it ever has been. It’s now like an interactive TV programme or film.
Nothing wrong with this, and it really is fantastic that it’s being embraced now, but it still needs to lose the stigma that surrounds it. A taboo being held up by the fusty, and the self-righteous and the control-freaks in power.
Nintendo have been doing more than their share to dispel this, with the socially/family-oriented Wii and DS consoles and their wealth of “Casual” games that are suitable for everyone.
Even Sony, with the black behemoth that is the PS3 and the PlayStation Network has attempted something similar: the tranquil puzzler “PixelJunk: Eden”, and the beautiful and emotionally engaging wind-em-up, “Flower”, and even getting in on the family side with things like “Buzz” and “Singstar”, and the kiddy favourites in the form of “EyePet” and “LittleBigPlanet”
Though, is gaming REALLY just a form of escapism? Is it now a proper art form? If film and music and literature can be classed as works of art, does the new kid on the block have the chops and street cred to be hanging in the Tate or the Louvre?
After all, the development and publishing teams would give a hollywood crew a run for their money, and scripts and scores are more sophisticated, so why not?
And I’m not just talking the iconogrpahy or the style or boxart or graphical design, undoubtedly there is that element which of course is art, I’m talking the piece as a whole, as a package. If beauty is in the eye of the beholder and art a subjective thing, can we really include this uncouth and dirty pasttime in with the likes of Monet, Picasso, Burns and Tarantino?
I’ll leave you to think about this, and to discuss it. Mull it over with a bottle of beer, or a cup of tea, or several shots of Sambuca. Let me know your thoughts and opinions.
Stuart “peespee63” Brodie
Thanks to Gamoc and the team over at TheSixthAxis for hosting yet another one of my articles
Let’s face it, Matt Hazard’s first outing was a critical and commercial flop. It meant well, and the heart was in the right place, but it was about as exciting and thrilling as a piece of concrete. On the floor.
OK, yes it was funny with a half-decent script and some solid voice acting, but it was severely let down by the last-generation graphics and sub-par gameplay.
Distinctly underaverage, but playable, if you manage to avoid the game breaking and seemingly random glitches.
But this review is not about the malformed TPS on Disc, but rather it’s flattened baby brother available via download off PSN and XBLA. Costing around about the £10 mark, it’s a bit steep for a download game, but there has been a lot of work put into it, so it can be forgiven for that.
Basic gameplay is run-and-gun in a 2D plane, as you control our plucky hero, Matt, trying to stop some evil Russian megalomaniac from his past killing him in the future and thus creating a time paradox and…
GAH! Stop screwing with time and paradoxes you oxymorons.
Basically, shoot guys and save the world.
It runs in the same vein as Contra and Metal Slug, but it has 3D graphics (creating the 2.5D (????) experience). Nothing new or innovative here, simple level formulas finished off by boss fights.
One neat feature, however, is the ability to shoot into the background, something you don’t normally see in a side-scrolling shooter.
The story comes in the dialogue between levels, there’s no voice-overs in cutscenes, and it is a bit wordy, but it’s worth reading for the in-jokes.
Parody is the aim here, and all the levels are an homage to the cliches you get in every action game. Again, nothing new here.
There’s the usual fare here: healthbar, lives, gun upgrades, grenades, a “rage” meter type thing, a point counter and some pickups that unlock some pretty meaningless stuff in the main menu.
The presentation is nice and it’s put together well, and it retains it’s bigger-budget brother’s humour, and is entriely self-aware, so it makes it not a terrible game, just north of the mediocrity line.
It’s one for Neo-Retro fans and people who want a little bit of a laugh, and nothing serious. It’s got no agenda, nothing to say about anything and it does what you want it to. And most importantly, it works.
What I am going to do here, is lay down a set of rules that I am setting myself for the next few months. Some of you may find this a bit shocking, so if you are a gamer of a nervous disposition (HAH! sorry, couldn’t say that with a straight face) look away now.
I have been gaming less and less recently, but have picked up a little bit in the past few weeks, because I’ve had more free time. I must say, I have not been enjoying many things immensely, and I feel that I need a break from things to clear my head and focus on other areas of my life.
It’s not an easy decision, and I’ve had to think long and hard about it, but I’m giving up Gaming for a few months, possibly up to a year, starting now.
The thing is, I have to sort my personal life out a bit more, as I’m doing too much with myself, so I’m just getting weary.
They say that absence makes the heart grow fonder, so hopefully, I can come back a few months down the line and get cracking with some brilliant games.
One of my most anticipated releases, Final Fantasy XIII will be released during this time, and I won’t play it. I’ll get it delivered, as I’ve preoredered it, but I will not play it until at least 3 months have passed.
This is it. No Internet games, no PS3, no PSP, no DS, no PC games, no PS2, no PS1, no iPod games, no mobile games. A complete playing shut-off.
Hopefully, I will be able to focus on my writing and document my absence from playing.
But fear not, I will keep in touch with the gaming world, I will keep tabs on the news, communicate with fellow gamers, and post in the TSA forums on various things, I just won’t be playing things is all.
I suppose, in a way, I’ve been inspired by speedshadow510 (LiquescentShadow) and his brief spell away from the forums/twitter, and by my mate, TheDeathAvenger (he’s been a bit quiet recently I believe, especially on Twitter).
OK, I will still use my PS3 for BluRay purposes, but as far as anyone’s concerned, I’ve switched off from the world of gaming for a little while.
I guess I’ll touch back on this in about 3 months time, around about April or so, we’ll see how I feel.
Will the next Wii be called the Wiiii, or the Wii Wii? Or will they go the whole hog and call it the Pii?
They missed a trick with Army of Two The 40th Day. They should have called it Army of Tutu. Geddit?
Exam:
If they did a game based on a film, based on a game based on a film, how bad would it be? Use annotated diagrams wherever possible.
If Matt has a submachinegun, a .45 pistol, a shotgun and an RPG, how much lead will you eat? For extra credit: Discuss the humour to awfullness ratio of The Return of Matt Hazard.
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Screw, Marry, Kill?: Sephiroth, Liquid Snake, CATS
Discuss the probability of a plastic gun being shipped with the next Call of Duty game.
Cosplay: yay or nay?
Who would win in a fight? Metapod or Magikarp?
Who has fellated more VPs and executives? Mario OR Sonic?
Sophitia or Taki?
Michelle or Julia?
Elena or Chloe?
Cloud or Squall?
Kasumi or Ayane?
“Guitar Hero sucks ass, Rock Band is so much better.” An idiot once said this, discuss both his idiocy and the irony of the sameness of the two games mentioned.
Coldplay: nay or nay?
True or False: XBox 360 owners will ALWAYS pay to play.
World Of Warcraft players are generally shut-ins and sad freaks.
True or False: PS3 owners will ALWAYS love the PS3, but despise Sony.
Ratchet or Jak?
Crash or Spyro?